Every once in a while I get into a mood where I heartbreakingly miss “the good ol’ days”. Sometimes the good ol’ days are when I was a kid, spending summers at my grandmas house, drinking soda, hanging out with my cousins and watching TV all summer. Going to school, then after school care and being picked up by my dad when he got off work. Sometimes the good ol’ days are when I was in high school, hating my life, my first love and wearing sweatshirts even on the hottest days because I felt ugly and fat. Isn’t that the silliest thing to miss? Feeling fat and ugly as a teenager? Well, it’s true.
Sometimes when I miss those days I get so wrapped up in it, I forget that in 10 years I will miss THESE days. Today. Right now. I convince myself that life was better then and that today isn’t that great. But then I remind myself how lucky I am to look back on those days and know how great my life has been and that not everyone can do that. I remind myself that maybe today isn’t my favorite day, but that it’s up to me to create those memories to look back on in the future.
I feel like these days of reliving memories happen a lot recently. Lately I feel like I’m stuck in this weird in between stage of life. I’m not a kid but I don’t have kids. When people talk about their children, I find myself conflicted on how to view things. I’m not sure if I relate more to teenagers or parents of teenagers. It’s the weirdest feeling, not being sure where you stand, not even knowing if it matters that much.